this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
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Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
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My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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