if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize