Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
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he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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