We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
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all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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