My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
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Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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