feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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