so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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