i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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