I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize