I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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