So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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