Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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