So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize