so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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