just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize