my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize