i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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