i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize