I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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