so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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