Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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