I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize