Yo dont text me then not text me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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