he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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