even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize