Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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