im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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