he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize