My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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