She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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