I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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