I CAN MOONWALK!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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