I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize