he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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