ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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