Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize