You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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