so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize