im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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