New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize