The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize