I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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