she looked like the before picture.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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