My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize