I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize