beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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