I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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