Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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