I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize