it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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